A few days after my cancer excision surgery on April 28^th, we received news that the biopsy showed that they didn’t get it all. One of the side margins was still positive. Wow, that was devastating news. Any more cutting and I’d have significant problems. The doc informed me that they had a cancer board, and he’d get back with me in two weeks about what to do. It ended up three weeks, and they recommended low doses of radiation..…I don’t think so.

 

There was nothing to do but wait anyway for the site to heal. Good. It gave me time to heal from the Loving Presence within. Two friends of mine, a clinical Jungian plus much more psychologist and his wife, a nurse, foot reflexologist, and Feng Shui consultant, asked me if I’d had a conversation with the cancer. I hadn’t. I guess I could have said, “Hi, How do you like sucking the life force energy out of me?” It wasn’t very spiritual, I know. But their point was that things come to us for a reason, and so the cancer had something for me to learn. I thanked them for their idea, and had a nap.

Within a day or two, my expatriate counselor friend who lives in Italy suggested that I talk lovingly to the cancer. “Lovingly?” I questioned loudly? He countered gently, “Yes, Annaleah. Jesus was love, and He was a great healer. I’m sure He spoke lovingly to everything.” I imagine that He did speak lovingly to the energies of the dis-ease in peoples’ bodies. I remembered that Jesus allowed the “demons” in one body to jump into a herd of swine.

 

O.K. That was three times, if you count the ex-pat and Jesus as two.  You may remember from earlier posts that I listen, and usually follow through with a suggestion when things come to me in threes from credible sources.

I prayed about exactly how to do it, and on May 9th I decided to meditate for the purpose of making contact with the cancer. I’m a teacher of Inner Light Consciousness. It’s a class that teaches various holistic techniques for living a spiritual life in this very 3D world. I used 4 of them in this experience: Prayer, a 7 step meditation process, a healing window, and journaling.

 

It would be very lengthy for me to go into all the detail about the experience of meditation, but I will briefly outline it. I prayed using the Aramaic Lord’s Prayer, and went to the inner holy place in my imagination I’ve created where I do holy work. I connected with my Higher Self, and we used the healing window to visualize my body there. The cancer appeared like little yellow worm things. I remember enjoying the strength of the visual/tactile experience of my Higher Self with me as I met this challenge.

 

We asked the cancer to come to us in a form we can communicate with. The little yellow worm thing comes directly in front of us. I sensed that it was the energetic force of the cancer. It had no eyes, only a mouth. I greeted it cordially and asked what the gift was that it brought me. It calmly stated, “You didn’t know if you wanted to live or die. I’ve come to help you decide.”

Wow! It was right, you know. In the last few years I’ve seen death of a beloved pet, a beautiful daughter, and dear mother. I have many friends and relatives I cherish on the other side, and at one point after Mom died, I thought, that it didn’t really matter whether I stayed or left. Life seemed so much more of a duty to do the right thing, than a joy in living it. I frequently felt that I wasn’t good enough, even though I’d intellectually processed that ego trap years ago, and know that I am good enough. Icebergs go deep.

 

However, when the worm said that, I immediately stated loudly, “I want to live!” There was an increase of light all around me, and I felt that the Universe was agreeing to that decision. I recalled Anita Moorjani’s book, “Dying to Live”, and felt some similarity there, in trying to please others to the detriment of pleasing myself. I’d also begun believing with greater depth  in the “Collective Whole” of life (for want of a better phrase). I began believing that that which I needed would be given to me if I would recognize it and allow it to come to me. That certainly seemed to be the case so far. I was facing my fear, and thriving from it. I believed that I was meant to live, and that it would be joyous again.

 

I thanked the energetic worm for it’s gift, and now that I’d received it, I sent him into the Light to find the next person to help. He flew right off, as if he knew right where to go. My prayer is that the person will remember that we have choices, or that if it is that person’s time, they will go quickly and peacefully, or maybe have a Near Death Experience!

 

I believe that the energy of the cancer is gone, and that by now the physical remains have been dissolved, recycled, and eliminated. Life continues to be a joy and an adventure. I’ve just booked an Inner Light Consciousness Class for Olympia, WA Aug. 17-19, and will also be seeing dear family and friends while I’m in the area.

To be continued:

Just after Easter this year I was given news that rocked my world. I had squamous cell carcinoma in situ just inside my rectum. Well that was humbling. And that was only the beginning! I remember when I had my children thinking that my privates were anything but. Well, this was the last unchartered orifice to be shared with the medical world! [So before I go on, get those routine colonoscopies done folks. That’s how they found my little 1 cm spot.]

 

I have always believed in mind over matter, and have been able to cure little things like a sprained ankle that “popped” when I was .8 mi up the trail of Sleeping Giant mountain across the street. My husband heard it too, and was wondering if I’d need to be airlifted out. But no. I lovingly cupped my hands around my ankle, apologizing for misdirecting it, and sending healing love to it. I told it how much I appreciated it and all it did for me with almost no appreciation, and asked it to function so I could get down the mountain. Within just a couple of minutes I was able to walk carefully down the mountain. Now by the time I got down, I was feeling pain and swelling. I elevated it, put ice on it, took two ibuprofen, and had a nap. In two days I was back subbing for a kindergarten class, and enjoying it.

 

But this was the big C. I meditated more, and began to eat mostly alkaline foods and drink veggie juices, but chose for my butt and I to go to surgery on Apr. 28^th. Now that WAS a pain in the a__. We expected the surgery to get it all, but it didn’t. So began a deepening of my inner journey that has brought me to a wonderful place, really. I was unable to substitute teach after the surgery, so I used my periods of recovery time from the surgery to read inspirational books, and spend more time in meditation with the goal of remembering the Love that I Am.

 

God loves us, so written material and friends presented themselves to me right on time. My most inspirational book was “Dying to be Me” by Anita Moorjani. This lovely lady was born a Hindu, but moved to Hong Kong with her parents at age 2. She went to a Catholic school first, and then a British school. She tried to fit into all of her cultures, but never felt like she fit in with any of them. She was full of fear, and after her brother-in-law, and her best friend both died from cancer, she was terribly frightened of that too…which she got…lymphoma.

 

They both had received chemotherapy, so she was sure she didn’t want that. She tried Indian Ayurveda healing for awhile, then Chinese medicine, and western medicine. They all disagreed on certain things. She didn’t really know what to do. Her fears grew, and so did her lymph nodes. In four years she had glands the size of lemons on her upper body. She was finally taken to the hospital when her liver and kidneys had shut down; she had water on the brain and in her lungs; and open sores all over her body.

 

Almost immediately she went into a coma and had a near death experience in which she found herself able to understand what everyone around her was feeling, and even able to know that her brother was on a flight from India to Hong Kong to see her. She heard the doctor tell her husband that she would probably be dead within 36 hours. And then she met her father’s spirit. He had died about 10 years previously.

 

He told her to live fearlessly and with joy. He apologized for his part in pressuring her to conform to her Indian tradition, and urged her to return and live with joy, doing what she loved. In no way did Anita want to return to that decaying wad of protoplasm. She followed him until he told her that if she crossed into a space, she would not be able to return to life. She then had the understanding that if she did return to life, she would be well!. A doctor suctioned fluid from her lungs, and she was able to identify him after she returned to her body. Within hours her kidneys and liver began functioning. Within days she was eating on her own, and within weeks the sores had cleared up, and tumors shunken.

 

The doctors had a hard time believing it, but careful records were kept, and several medical doctors came to study her case. They tried first to find tumors in a lymph node, but none seemed large enough to  be cancerous. So they took a biopsy of the largest one, and it was negative for cancer! The doctors still couldn’t believe it, so they took bone marrow samples, and yet again. No cancer. Her husband finally told them that she was cured, and they were leaving. She left after 6 months.I believe she did have 2 chemo treatments, but the cancer had left even before their administration. Yes Anita! If you can do it, I can do it. Thank you for your love!

 

Do yourself a favor, and google Anita Moorjani, and watch  any of the interviews that she has on You Tube. Hey! We are Spirit, invulnerable. Her word was “Magnificent”!