My co-teacher and I had a difficult day yesterday. We'd settled down to research a file to see why one of our students was acting aggressively toward her. We were exhausted, and it was Friday afternoon. Just then, our Speech and Language Therapist came in for a chat to inform us that 3 new boys would be entering our shared classroom, bringing the total to a lucky 13. Now that's a lot of Special Ed. Pre-Schoolers to be together in one place. She then proceeded to tell us each child's syndrome in explicit detail. Phew! It was going to be challenging.

My co-teacher meekly mentioned that 2 of her friends in other schools had 3 students and an educational assistant apiece. Our egos hit the "unfair" button. I was also told that the highest number of kids our combined classroom ever had was 12, which I had last year with a different co-teacher. It was difficult, but the children all did well, and all met over 80% of their IEP goals. Plus, they learned gobs that wasn't directly in their IEPs.  But we both felt the energy sucked right out of us. We already felt that we were barely holding order getting our active children into the routine. When the SLT left our faces were drained. So we split a banana nut muffin.

We did find our answers in the cumulative folder as to why our student responded the way he did, in spite of the mother claiming that he had never had a problem before. We did decide on a new strategy to approach him. We did decide to enjoy the weekend and not stress over it too much, because we had over a month to plan, and the fair was in town!

But on the way home in the car, and at various times in the night I wondered how we'd manage. It's not just teaching time, but collecting data time, and writing IEPs time, and writing lengthy progress reports time that we'd have to step up to. I weakly told myself that God wouldn't give me any more than I could handle, but my ego mind was saying, "ADHD, and Speech Delay, autism, balance issues, and come what may!" Then again, I'd remind myself that these children were perfect spirit inside, and coming to us for a reason. We'd already had 3 kids transfer in from other schools this year, and I don't believe that that's a coincidence, but 3 more in just another month!!!! On and on my mind battled, and I even woke up this morning with concerns.

I went to my beloved heiau, Hauola, to empty my heart and mind. I then could reconnect to my Beloved Creator, and gave thanks to Mother Earth for being such a good provider in this collective dream.  I recharged, and as I walked out, I felt a true confidence that everything would be just great, and that we all would thrive by being together. I would have to practice being calm in chaos, and we teachers would have to have an agreement that when one would start to lose it, another would just step in for support. I have just completely dropped the stress, and have given it over to a higher power.

I guess I should mention that on my way home after school yesterday, I did see a brilliant double rainbow. That is always a reassuring sign to me. I guess I was being given spiritual support instantly, but was too into my ego drama to truly open to the depth of it. Taking the time to get out of the ego head and connect to Truth is like investing in Blue Chip stock. The dividends pay high. I feel so much better!

 

 

I wrote this letter to a friend today who has heart palpitations she believes were caused from anxiety over a recent job experience. I’ve tweaked it a bit to make it more universal.

 

Dearest _____,

 

I've been holding you in my heart since your last letters to me about the heart palpitations, and anxiety. I love you sister. I KNOW you. I KNOW you are an incredible Spirit, because you have touched my family and me with it. It's sometimes harder to see ourselves through our own "filters", but I SEE You.

 

As I was reading my ACIM lesson today (232) one line hit me that could be for you. I know that it's obnoxious when someone offers something that just isn't the right vibe at the time, but I'm going to take the time to type this, because I asked 3 times if I should send it, and got Yes.

 

Lesson 232 "Be in my mind, my Father, through the day."

 

     "'Be in my mind, Father, when I wake, and shine on me throughout the day today. Let every minute be a time in which I dwell with You. And let me not forget my hourly thanksgiving that You have remained with me, and always will be there to hear my call to You and answer me. As evening comes, let all my thoughts be still of You and of Your Love. And let me sleep sure of my safety, certain of Your care, and happily aware I am Your Son.'"

 

     "This is as every day should be. Today, practice the end of fear. [That's the line.] Have faith in Him Who is your Father. Trust all things to Him. Let Him reveal all things to you, and be you undismayed because you are His Son."

 

 

Sister, I know that you know that anxiety is a form of fear, and today's lesson attempts to remove it by focusing on the positive truth.

 

I remember having a realization one day, maybe inspired by the Course, or Paul Solomon, or something else... I don't remember now, but that fear is only meaningful to the body and lower mind. Think of what you have fear thoughts about, and see if it isn't related to the body, or your personality (ego). Then remember yourself as a beloved spiritual being connected to All Life, and see if it is still important. 

 

Loss is meaningless because we are connected to everyone.

Poverty is meaningless because we are part of everything that has true life.

Anger is meaningless because nothing that exists in this 3D world will have any relevance when you're done with this dream.

etc.

 

That's the real healing. When we can believe this, we feel safe somehow. I really feel that way, and so does Joshua [my husband]. That doesn't mean that we don't get upset or react to things initially, but in the processing we remember the truth, and we always land on our feet. Now I trust explicitly.

 

It's taken years to get to this point, but it is such a joy. To have Joshua as my life time student partner has been pure Grace.

 

Another question you could ask yourself is "What do I have this anxiety for? What is its purpose?" There may have been a time in your life when it was important to have it. Maybe it kept you on hyper-alert when things were very difficult. Then the subconscious got trained to keep you in that state. But you can undo that by retraining your subconscious to remind you to ask for help from your Higher Self when you get anxious. 

 

This is not just theory for me. I live this way. Doesn't mean I don't screw up sometimes, but I feel that I can always get back on track.  

 

Love you lots Sister. I KNOW who you are, and I will continue to see you as this exquisite, lovable, loving, trusting sister of mine in Spirit, until you can remember it for yourself.

 

Hugs,

Annaleah

I have a theory that William Shakespeare was spiritually very conscious, and tried to present his teachings to the masses in a form that would reach them at the levels they could accept. That was why there were plays within plays, and he’d make comments such as “All the World is Just a Stage.”

Some people saw his plays and just laughed at the buffoonery and OOOO’d at the heraldry. Some watched the characters work out difficult situations with others, and may have been able to relate them to their own life circumstances. Some saw the  intense self searching of say, Hamlet, and maybe even began to question why they did the things they did, or thought the thoughts they thought.

 

I believe Shakespeare knew that this 3D world we populate was a projection of our thoughts. He would show us our ego trips in either comedies to make us laugh at them, or in tragedies to make us weep. But the overriding fact was always that it was unreal… a show. We could walk away from it, and there was no harm done. Could he have also been teaching us that indeed, the very life that we live is just a dream, and that when we awaken from it, we will walk away from it, with no harm done. We will be as perfect and beautiful a soul as we were created to be, because “All the World is Just a Stage” to try out different thoughts and scenarios that our egos choose to play, and then, at some point we begin to awaken from the play. It feels false somehow, and we think there must be more.

 

The ego wants us to keep on acting, because, let’s face it, when we wake up and go Home, the ego dies. We join Spirit, which has no form, no controlling thoughts or separated ideas. Our egos can’t even conceive of that state, and are terrified of it.  That’s why they keep creating dramas for us to play out. The good news is that the “Globe” theater did close down for the evening, and our plays will cease, and we will remember the exquisite peace and love that we are.

 

If you read my last blog, you know that my loved ones are having challenges. How can I find peace in all this? Most of the time I am able to shut down the mental chatter, and find the peace in the stillness that is always there underneath that chatter.

 

I know that sometimes I go on a big ego trip that says that I have to help fix things, but the deep down truth is that no one needs fixing. We are all perfect Spiritual beings created invulnerable by a loving Creator. Now the dreams we project onto this 3D world can be dark, scary, impoverished or even seemingly unfair. Since we love ourselves and others we think we must do something to “fix” the situation. That sets our ego minds a-analyzing, and critiquing, and judging, and more.

 

I can help my loved ones the most by remembering Who they are, and seeing them as God’s Beloved spiritual kids, even though they don’t feel like it. I sometimes even say it out loud although they might not be able to hear it the first hundred or so times. Most religions teach us that we are lowly worms, and have to earn God’s love, so there is some undoing that must occur first.

 

Usually I set aside some time, and ask the Holy Spirit to take care of it, and let me know in a most obvious way what my part is to play. Then I’ll turn off my thinking. Sadly it has its own “turn on” switch, so I may have to do it a few times, but today I just sank down to a peaceful place of no thinking. What is waiting under “no thinking” is a feeling for me of peace. There might be a heightened vibrational feeling, but sometimes it is just no thing. And I’ll send out love from my heart center to my Creator, and therefore all of Life. I may also send it specifically to those who have asked for prayers, or those whom I feel led to pray for, but I connect with God, and that is all inclusive.

 

I’ll hold that space for as long as I can, and then return to my personal consciousness. I expect to be led to know what to do. For example, I felt led to take out a loan to help fix up my son’s house which will be paid back when he sells it. I had some difficulty doing that, as I have sent money before with poor results. I asked for a sign that I was really supposed to do that. A few days later I woke up hearing John Denver’s “The Prodigal Son”….. “The prodigal son, he’d been away awhile. He was working his way back home now, over many a ragged mile. When he finally crossed the river, and his father saw him near, there was a joyful sound for all the world to hear.”  So I got the money and sent it with peace, certain that it was the right thing to do, and that I’d be helped if needed because I was working under Holy Spirit’s direction. Wish I could say that I do it all the time. It is so reinforcing, that I’m getting better and better at it. May you have increasingly more peace in your lives too. That’s my prayer for you. If you join that prayer, then there are automatically 2 gathered in Jesus’ name to make it so.